Abandonment

Are You Struggling To Trust Others And Form Healthy Relationships?

Do you often feel abandoned, unheard and unvalued even when you are with people you care about? Do you feel dissatisfied, as though there is an emptiness that you can’t seem to fill? Are you worried that you are too needy or that you aren’t good enough to keep people in your life?

People seem to always be leaving you. You can’t understand why or what you could have done to make them stay. Maybe you have supportive family members, friends or coworkers, but still don’t feel like you have anyone you can trust. Despite what those around you might say, you may not believe anyone really cares, leaving you feeling isolated and hopeless. 

You may start each day already feeling defeated. Or, maybe you wake up with a sense of hope and determination, but as the day progresses, you gradually feel more abandoned and alone, unable to recognize the people and connections in your life. Perhaps you look forward to the next time you can fall asleep and escape the overwhelming feelings of anxiety and sadness. After the end of a relationship, you might lie awake, your mind racing with doubts and regrets. In an effort to cope with grief and loss, you may engage in self-harm, such as substance abuse, self-injury and over or under-eating. Do you wish you could be your authentic self around others, enjoy your relationships and trust that people will stick around, even when things get rough?

Many Individuals Have A Fear of Abandonment

Feelings of abandonment are extremely common. Many people struggle with the pain of rejection, isolation and betrayal when they perceive that they’ve been abandoned. Maybe you were adopted, spent time in foster care or lost your parents unexpectedly, and now you continue to struggle with abandonment issues from childhood. Or, maybe you lost a parent or partner to incarceration, divorce or addiction. A sense of abandonment can also arise if you did not feel “seen” or “heard” in your family of origin, as in cases of child abuse and neglect. You may have been shy in an outgoing, social family or passionate and artistic in a more conservative, reserved family, which made you feel different, misunderstood, invisible or even wrong in some way.

We spend our lives trying to figure out where we belong, what we like and how to give and receive love. But, if we are ignored or told we are incapable, unimportant or not good enough, it can impact our ability to honestly connect with ourselves and others in meaningful ways. When we experience abandonment, we develop a core belief that no one will ever be there for us. We may wonder how we can trust anyone when a parent, partner or loved one wasn’t able to understand, appreciate, care for or protect us.
It is not always clear how to deal with feelings of abandonment. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to feel confident and empowered in your relationships. With abandonment counseling at my office in Lafayette, CA, you can understand why you feel insecure or dissatisfied and learn how to foster meaningful attachments with the people you care about.

Abandonment Counseling Can Help You Learn To Trust Yourself And Others

At its core, psychotherapy is about building a trusting relationship between you and your therapist, making it a particularly effective tool when recovering from abandonment issues. I offer a safe space and compassionate support so you can feel comfortable exploring feelings of abandonment and how they are impacting your life. In my office, you will not be judged or criticized for who you are or how you feel. Instead, as you learn to trust yourself and the relationship we have formed, you can feel empowered to foster meaningful attachments at home, work or school.

During our sessions, we will identify relationship issues and day-to-day stressors that may be impacting your ability to feel close, connected and trusting with others. You can practice and develop coping tools tailored to help you respond to anxiety or pain-producing thoughts and experiences in your life. Additionally, we will discuss and examine your self-perception and perception of what others think of you. As you gain greater awareness of how the sense of abandonment has affected the way you see and engage with the world, you can start taking steps to enter into honest, reliable and loving relationships.

I have been helping individuals and families understand and recover from abandonment issues in my private practice for over 25 years. In that time, I have seen that we cannot erase the past, but we can heal those wounds that have led to distrust, sadness, resentment and a lack of attachment. With abandonment therapy, you can learn to trust yourself and others, feeling secure and empowered in your relationships.

But, you may still have questions about counseling for abandonment issues…

I can’t even get a handle on what my “issues” are—how could a stranger help?

You don’t need to have all the answers when we start working together. An experienced therapist can actually help you work toward understanding and recovering from abandonment. As we build a more trusting relationship in sessions, we can safely, genuinely and compassionately explore and address those issues that you haven’t been able to identify on your own.

I can’t trust someone I don’t know, even if you are a therapist.

It is smart to be cautious with new people, particularly when you are sharing your most private experiences, thoughts and feelings. My goal is to help you work through difficult issues and experiences at a pace that is comfortable. I want to get to know who you are, where you come from and why you do what you do so I can help you better know yourself and make healthier choices in your life.

I have lived with these issues for this long, so why should I go into things that may be really painful now?

You don’t have to live with the pain of loneliness and low self-worth. With help and support, you can exchange the hurt, sadness, regret, anger or discontent you have been feeling—perhaps for years—for hope, happiness and love of yourself and others. You can see that you have choices, and that you can go through psychotherapy and come out feeling stronger, safer, calmer and more trusting. 

You Can Feel Secure And Satisfied In Your Relationships

Are you ready to feel more confident and empowered as you connect and foster attachments with the people in your life? Do you have additional questions about abandonment therapy and how I can help as you recover from abandonment or emotional neglect? I invite you to contact me in Lafayette, CA, at 510-528-4718 to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.