Grief & Loss

Has A Loss Or Transition Left You Feeling Unsafe Or Insecure?

Are you reeling from a loss that has shaken your sense of stability? Do you feel responsible for the loss you have experienced, whether it was the end of a relationship, the passing of a loved one or a change in career? Are you carrying a sense of guilt or regret that you did not say or do more before it was too late? 

You may struggle to understand, manage and process how the loss has impacted your life. Overwhelming thoughts, emotions and memories may leave you feeling so helpless and distraught that you don’t know how you can go on with your life. To make things more difficult, conflicting thoughts and emotions can leave you confused and ashamed about how you are—or aren’t—grieving. Perhaps part of you feels sad and wishes you could regain the life you once knew, while another part feels excited for the opportunity to make a change. Or, maybe you feel angry and abandoned, but part of you believes that you deserved to experience the loss.

Numbing yourself with drugs, alcohol, over or under eating or other harmful patterns of behavior might help you try to escape distressing emotions, doubt and uncertainty. Maybe you have become reclusive or isolated, deciding that you can’t or won’t trust anyone or anything. Alternately, you may think you are too needy as you search for a sense of reliability and connection in your life. Do you wish you could get a handle on the flood of thoughts and emotions and find a healthy way to move on with your life and relationships?

Everyone Experiences Transition. Loss Or Grief Affects Everyone In A Different Way

At some points in our lives, we all lose people, places, roles and things that helped define and stabilize our lives. While we are all affected differently by different losses, it is both common and expected that we will go through grief and mourning in response to a significant change. You may find yourself moving through many new experiences following the loss of a loved one, whether from death, divorce or empty nest syndrome. Alternately, you might have been able to move through the grieving process relatively easily following a separation or death in the family, but are now struggling to recover after a difficult career transition or move. You may wonder why it is so difficult to cope with and adapt to the loss. Maybe you believe that recovery should come more quickly or that it is a sign of weakness to need help.

Fortunately, grief counseling can help. By working with a therapist, you can find the safety and support you need to express your thoughts and emotions and move forward in your life and relationships.

Grief Counseling Can Help You Restore A Sense Of Stability And Hope

Psychotherapy can be very effective in helping you understand and manage difficult or confusing thoughts, feelings and behaviors related to grief and mourning. I provide a safe space where you can explore how you feel and learn to accept and work through your emotions instead of trying to avoid them. With compassionate support, you can see that it isn’t always possible to escape feelings of sadness and loss. But, when you are able to recognize that there are things you cannot change, you empower yourself to manage loss and grief more effectively. Our challenge, as humans, is to figure out how to move through the periods of change, transition and loss with a resilient sense of hope. There are times when you may feel as though your world has crashed and burned. My goal is to help you work through difficult emotions with the awareness that, out of this loss, you have the opportunity to rise up like a phoenix as a new, more experienced self.

The richness of your emotions makes you who you are, and numbing yourself to feelings of sadness limits your ability to recognize and address the issue on a deeper level. This doesn’t mean that you will always feel sad; rather, you can be aware that sadness, just like happiness, is a natural and healthy emotion. Together, we can work on shifting your frame of reference so you can see grief as an important step toward recovery and growth. Grief therapy can help you find a new center and source of stability so you can approach opportunities and relationships with greater hope and optimism. Instead of feeling like you are defined by grief, you can see that it is the rich tapestry of happiness and challenges, joys and sorrow that make you your unique self. 

During bereavement counseling, we will identify small cognitive and behavioral shifts you can make to help you move through the grieving process. Instead of waking up knowing that you will have a difficult day, you can think, “Maybe today will be difficult.” Or, maybe you can set a goal to only hit the Snooze button four times instead of five. By taking baby steps to subtly shift your thinking or routine, you can move toward healing more easily and with less resistance.

There is no one “right” way to share your emotions. We will work together to develop tailored coping strategies and practical tools you can use to express your thoughts and feelings. You may find an emotional outlet and relief from day-to-day struggles through journaling, painting, creating music or other artistic endeavors. I will help you identify and nurture the habits that can work for you.

In my private practice, I have been helping adults and teens learn how to move through grief and loss for 25 years. I recognize that you may feel confused, frustrated, helpless and alone, but it is possible to move through the loss and feel peace and joy again. With grief therapy, you can learn to accept your emotions, live with change and build a more empowering relationship with yourself and others.

But, you may still have questions or concerns about grief counseling…

I would rather deal with my grief alone.

Many of us choose to isolate when we feel bereaved. We may not want to burden others, or maybe we think we are being too needy if we ask for help or share our thoughts and emotions. Yet, what we forget, or don’t realize, is that everyone experiences loss. Loss is an integral part of life, and we all have our own, unique path toward healing. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others, particularly a grief therapist, can quickly relieve that sense of aloneness that is making it so hard to work through your grief and move forward in your life.

How could anyone understand what I’m going through?

We all experience loss: loss of a loved one, loss of a career or financial stability, loss of a sense of home or security following a move or trauma. Your loss is uniquely yours, but we all feel sadness, grief, anger and doubt when we are mourning. I would be honored to offer support as you move forward in your personal journey. Compassionate guidance can help you feel noticeable relief and allow you to move forward with the next part of your life.

I’m not crazy. I don’t think I need therapy.

You’re right, you’re not crazy. You are experiencing very human thoughts, feelings and behaviors related to a difficult change, transition or loss. It can help to have a safe space where you can feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and emotions, without fear of judgment or reprisal. My goal is not to change or “fix” you, but to give you the resources, tools and support you need to move through the grieving process and find lasting recovery.

You Can Move Forward In Your Life

If you are ready to work through distressing thoughts and emotions following a loss, or if you have additional questions about counseling for grief and loss, I invite you to contact me in Lafayette, CA, at 510-528-4718 to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.