Self-Injury

Are You Struggling to Find Relief From Overwhelming Stress or Emotions?

Are you going through the motions, trying to prove to yourself or others around you that everything is fine? Do you spend your time and energy supporting others but feel helpless to take care for yourself? Are you too exhausted to stay focused or productive at school or work?

You may have begun cutting yourself, skin picking or engaging in other forms of self-injury in an attempt to cope with overwhelming stress or emotions. It may be that you feel ashamed or embarrassed by your self-injurious behavior, but nothing else seems to provide the same fast relief from distressing thoughts, emotions and self-doubt. Perhaps you keep your pain a secret, fearing people wouldn’t understand or want to be around you if they knew you were self-injuring. You may obsess over when and where you can next find a private place to self-injure or how you’ll hide any marks or wounds. After the relief fades, the feelings of exhaustion or guilt you experience may provoke the impulse to self-harm, leading to a painful cycle. Do you wish you could stop or escape the emotions that lead you to self-injure so you could feel more confident and hopeful?

Parents, you may be confused, fearful, frustrated or shocked by your child’s regular or irregular need to self-injure. Perhaps you have tried to help your child, but the behavior is like an addiction that they can’t seem to shake. You may be searching for a healthier, lasting coping tool your teen can use to replace self-injury, but don’t know where to start or how you can help your child.

Self-Injury Is More Common In Adolescents And Adults Than We Admit

Many individuals struggle to move away from harmful patterns of self-injury. Some realize that the relief cutting, skin-picking, burning and other forms of self-harm provide doesn’t last. But, no other coping mechanisms—including drinking, using drugs, journaling or crying—provide such immediate relief. Others recognize that self-injury is no longer as effective at helping them escape stress and difficult emotions but worry they won’t be able to manage without the ritual and release. 

Because self-injury is such a secretive behavior, it can leave you feeling isolated and uncertain about seeking help. But, self-injury may be more common than you realize. Studies have shown that anywhere from 20 to 50 percent of adolescents have engaged in some form of non-suicidal self-injury. For adults, self-injury rates are highest amongst those suffering from a co-occurring condition, such as post-traumatic stress, depression, severe anxiety or an eating disorder. And, because many individuals are embarrassed or ashamed and don’t seek treatment, the number of individuals engaging in self-injury may actually be quite a bit higher than current studies suggest.

Self-injury may begin for a variety of reasons. Perhaps you started self-injuring as a way to find relief from distressing emotions. Alternately, you may experience an overwhelming sense of numbness following real or perceived abandonment, and cutting, skin-picking or other self-harming behaviors are the only way you have found to feel anything at all. Maybe you hate yourself or regret choices you have made, and you believe that you deserve to feel pain. Adding to the challenges you are facing, you may struggle to enter into healthy relationships where you feel safe and loved, especially if you feel as though you are always carrying a secret that makes it seem impossible to ever completely open up. You might question whether a therapist you’ve never met can really help you understand why you are struggling. Thankfully, there is a way to break free from the cycle of self-injury.

Self-harm therapy and self-injury treatment can help you or your teen learn to manage difficult thoughts, emotions and behaviors so you can foster a happier, more peaceful life.

Self-Harm Therapy Can Help You Feel Confident And Empowered

When you are ready to seek help, we can work together to de-stigmatize your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. By fostering alternative thinking about your experiences, you can develop healthier coping mechanisms and lessen your compulsion to harm yourself. When you realize that you have choices and you don’t deserve to feel pain, you can empower yourself to make healthier decisions during stressful times in your life. I provide non-judgmental, compassionate and supportive therapy to help you manage daily stress and explore the original wounds that brought you or your teen to a pattern of self-injury, offering the resources, skills and confidence needed to make meaningful and lasting changes. 

At the beginning of our self-harm counseling sessions, we will focus on who you are, where you’re coming from and why you feel compelled to self-injure. By taking time to discuss your experience at a pace you are comfortable with, you can see that you are not alone and that there are other ways to find relief and lasting healing. I want to know what strategies you have tried so we can work toward new, more effective self-harm solutions instead of trying to reinvent the wheel. Then, when you are ready, we can explore alternative coping skills.

I understand that self-injurious behavior gives a more immediate pay-off than other coping strategies. In our sessions, I want to empower you to find healthier alternatives. You can see that you have the strength to wait just another few minutes for another coping mechanism to work, and you don’t have to resort to skin picking, burning your skin or cutting yourself. As we work together, I provide extensive lists of coping tools developed by other self-injurers, giving you a wide variety of options that can help you work through difficult thoughts, emotions or urges to self-harm.

I have been helping individuals and families understand and address issues of self-harm, abandonment and child abuse for 40 years. With help and support, you can choose to live your life in less pain, secrecy and fear. 
But, you may still have questions or concerns about seeking self-injury treatment or self-harm counseling…

I don’t think anyone will ever understand why I self-injure.

You are the only one who fully understands your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Together, however, we can unpack why you engage in self-harm and explore alternative coping strategies. As we work to heal deep emotional wounds, you can experience less shame, embarrassment and secrecy in your life and learn how to survive and thrive without self-injury.

I’m worried people will be grossed out or won’t want to be around me anymore.

For years, I have helped others understand and work through their experiences of hurt, sadness, fear, shame, guilt, resentment and anger. While many people have a rough time being with others who are in pain, that doesn’t mean you have to suffer alone or in silence. I want to know about your thoughts, feelings and behaviors and help you recognize that you are both capable and deserving of acceptance, love and respect. Together, we can take steps to help you understand your thoughts and emotions and share your experience with the people you care about in your life.

Nothing else I have tried helps in the same way.

You may have started self-injuring or continue to self-harm because it provides physical pain—or relief from emotional pain—almost immediately. By working together in a safe space, we can explore your strengths, interests, triggers and goals and develop coping tools and techniques that are healthier and less harmful, but just as effective.

You Can Find Self-Injury Help

If you are ready to feel more confident and hopeful, or if you have additional questions about self-harm therapy at my office in Lafayette, CA, I invite you to contact me at 510-528-4718 to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.